I can’t believe it has been one year since you passed away. I’ve been through all the stages of grief and find myself going back and forth between some of them. It’s gotten a little easier; however, I miss you like crazy. I still cry, but I also laugh when I think about you and remember the good times. I want to call you and tell you about things that are happening in my life. I want to visit you and give you hugs and kisses. I want to knit you scarves and blankets to keep you warm. I know that you are looking down and watching over us. I’m also sure you know all these things; however, it’s so hard not having you here physically.
There have been many first anniversaries during this time. Your first birthday in heaven (I still have your card and present), my annual visit to Indiana for Thanksgiving, the joy of finding or making special Christmas presents for you, ringing in the New Year and making that call every year, the first Mother’s Day without you – oh, that was so very hard, getting a card from you on my birthday…everything. And now it is the first anniversary of you being gone.
I still haven’t been able to watch the video of you that I took where you tell me you love me over and over again. I hope that I’ll be able to soon. Right now, just thinking about it makes me cry. I hope you are happy being with Grandma, Grandpa, your sister and brother who passed before their time, as well as a myriad of other relatives I’m sure you were overjoyed to see again. Maybe you are throwing a little party to celebrate. I like to think you are. I can’t wait to see you again and until then, just know that I love you to the moon and back. Big kisses and hugs!
Around 2:25am, my Mom passed very peacefully and now is in heaven, rejoicing from being no longer in pain. She loved to laugh, tease, and was such a joy in my life, as well as to anyone who met her. Intellectually, I know that she is in a much better place and I am so happy that she is finally at peace. Emotionally, my heart is breaking. My cousin told me that the moment she passed, the skies opened up and poured rain for a few moments. Heaven welcomed another angel today. Sandra Louise Asher Bryant Brandt, 10-19-1950 – 8-10-2014. RIP to the most beautiful woman in the world. You will be missed forever.